new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
