it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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