Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
