cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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