dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
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she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
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I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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