So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
