he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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