shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
