Say something about gay babies.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
