Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
