I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
