I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize