i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
