i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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