Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
