you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
