I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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