Non-Jews are for practice
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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