and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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