Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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