using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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