Dual....:-)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
