What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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