Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.

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(515): View more from Iowa

so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement

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(847): View more from Illinois

no one should ever give us hovercrafts

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(937): View more from Ohio

Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal

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(740): View more from Ohio

he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.

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(630): View more from Illinois

But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better

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(409): View more from Texas

my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.

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