Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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