just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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