I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize