Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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