there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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