She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize