He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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