Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
