We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
