i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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