I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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