Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
