Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
