Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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