what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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