3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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