I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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