I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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