he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
