My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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