$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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