been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
