and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize