Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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