You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
4 words: hood of his car
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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