Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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