shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
