that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
