stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
