He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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