I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
