she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
