white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
