And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
