Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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