the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
